I'm still learning.

It has been nine months since we have lived in a place that we could call our own. Just recently my boys have started talking a lot more about our home in Florida. Every morning while making breakfast they ask "momma is this yours kitchen?" Again and again I explain to them that we are living at Grandma's house until Daddy is done with his big test and he finds a job. Of course sweet Grandma Lorz always shouts from the background "of course this is your kitchen, this is your house." I love living with my mother-in-law, and I love having family around. I have learned that I can live with a lot less and that I don't miss much of anything that is in storage right now. However, there is a few things that I miss.......deeply.

I remember days when the last thing I wanted to do was cook dinner, or clean the bathroom, or organize the garage. I remember times when I let the laundry pile up far too long, and the family ate cheerios every morning for a few weeks in a row. I remember not wanting to pick up the boys toys, or vacuum the stairs. I remember overwhelming feelings of housework, and laundry, cooking, and grocery shopping, on top of church callings, and twin toddlers, and of course the famous last words of my husband saying, "well I am off to go study!" I remember it all too well, and it is exactly what I miss.

In the last couple months I have realized more than ever how much I love being a homemaker. I think it is one of the few things that I am good at. I don't claim to have a whole lot of talents, but it makes me feel good to know that this may be one of them. From a young age I had a very clear idea of what I wanted my home to be like for my family.

You know that feeling you get when you have worked really hard all day, making nutritious meals for your family, and homemade bread with a smell that lingers into the night, cleaning your bathrooms and kitchen, organizing closets, and throwing out clutter. Putting kids to bed and curling up on the couch with a good book and the light of a candle flickering in the room. I'm not saying this is what I did everyday, but this is what I miss. I have always had this strong desire to change, create, and decorate the space around me. I miss having that "space" of my own to create.

This is not a boohoo post. I am very thankful for this experience. I will never look at my work as a mother the same way again. It makes me feel good to know that even at a young age my boys miss having their own home, I like to believe that they do remember the feeling that was in our home. When the time is right we will have a place of our own, and instead of waking up each morning overwhelmed by all the house work that needs to be done I will be happy just having a house of my own.