Someday I will not hear words with an "ED" at the end.  "Mom I really like-ed that," 
"Mom she talk-ed to me,"  "I laugh-ed at that,"  "I love-ed that cake."   I also wont be hearing things like "is that yourS food."  "I love yourS bread,"  "is it yourS turn?"   They love to add an "S" onto words that don't need them however they can't seem to say the "S" sound when it is the first letter of a word," such as springtime is "pringtime," stop is" top," spoon is "poon," and spot is "pot". 

These are habits I hope they can break by Kindergarten or before, but oh how I will miss sentences like..... "Mom I love-ed pringtime, is it yourS favorite too?"

Looong drawn out "goodbyes"

Every Tuesday and Thursday around 9:00am you will find me dropping off my boys at Preschool.  I will be standing outside the door as the other parents come and go.  Our goodbyes are always the longest ones, not because it's hard for them to say goodbye but because it is always a process and maybe even a little competition.

One will say  "mom I want to give you a hug and a kiss" so he does.  The other one says "I want to give you two hugs and two kisses."  Which is then followed by the other one saying "mom I want to give you five hugs and kisses."  And we will kiss and hug each other for quite sometime and most often in an obsessive compulsive manner. "mom your hair was in the way that time."  "mom that wasn't exactly on your cheek."  "mom I wanted a hug first then a kiss on your cheek, then a kiss on your lips, then a hug," repeat, repeat, repeat.  After all of the hugging and kissing is over my boys will then be the only preschoolers who HAVE to stand outside the door and wave goodbye, and wave until I am completely out of sight. 

You would think this was a stalling technique.  It's not.  They are genuinely shattered when you forget to wave or give kisses and hugs.  Matt has been known to turn around and comeback after leaving for work knowing that he forgot to wave to Daniel and knowing that Daniel is now home in tears because daddy forgot to look up at his window and wave goodbye.  It's the same thing every time Grandmas have to leave.  Even Grandma Lorz has come up with some very creative waves, hopping up and down, waving under one leg, and waving fanatically with both hands while jumping up in the air.

These goodbyes take a long time and can be a little hard if we are running late.  However, they will not last and soon they will be to cool to kiss me over and over again in front of their peers.  I know the day will come, it's probably not far away, so each and every kiss, hug and wave, for now I will cherish and try to hold onto, tuck them away and save them for that inevitable day when they say goodbye without even a look back in my direction.

Making some big tough decisions.

 Matt and I attended a play "Who Shot Juanito Bandito?" It was hilarious to say the least. The play was full of all types of songs from rap to pop. The last song was called "It's never too late to change your situation," it made me feel like I was at a BackStreet Boys concert, and I LOVED it!! And believe me I never thought I would be writing the words BackStreet Boys and LOVE in the same sentence. During the whole song I was thinking...."please Matt DON'T be hearing the lyrics to this song, just listen to the beat like you usually do."  The song had a great message, something I do believe in, however it is easier for me to believe it for others than for myself.  I think sometimes I like to play it safe in life. 

We know what it is like as a family to struggle looking for a job.  Probably THE hardest time in my life and for the family was going through the ups and downs of the job search.  When Matt was finally offered a job it was such a blessing and came at the perfect time.  For the last year we have had a steady income, he has had a really nice office with views of the SLC courthouse, insurance, some fun holiday perks, and some nice co workers.  We have never taken this job for granted and we have always given thanks for the blessing it is to be able to support our family.  However, what many don't know is that this last year has been one of the HARDEST trials of our lives. Matthew has never felt like this job was right for him, and although I had sympathy for him it was still difficult for me to understand how he couldn't just love having this great job, or a job at all.....in this economy.  I prayed and prayed for him to feel differently.  I watched him work harder than he ever has in his life.  I have never seen someone on their knees so much or attending the temple so diligently, and I thought surely Heavenly Father would help him to realize how much he needed to stay at this job and just be grateful for it.  My prayers were always about helping Matthew, because of course it's him that needed the inspiration, not me!!

Well I was wrong.  And finally after months and months of worrying and stressing and not knowing from day to day which day would be Matt's last day of work, the answer finally came.  I was reassured that Matt would make the right choice.  That whatever he did, even if it meant quiting his job, it would be the right thing to do, because I knew that he was counseling with the Lord.  I had to humble myself and trust in him.  But it was not easy and I still wondered how he could quit his job in such a bad economy.  We have mouths to feed, kids starting school soon, bills to pay.  I didn't know how it would work, but the Spirit told me that it would. 

So Matthew told his boss that he was going to leave the firm.  They offered to change whatever they could to make it better for him, and somehow talked him into staying even though they knew he would be looking for another job in the meantime.  Time went on and he still just didn't feel good about being there.  And then a miracle happened.

When we started our job search right out of Law school it was our dream to be in Logan.  It just feels like home to us and it is good to be close to Matt's mom.  We thought for sure it was where we were suppose to raise our family.  We wanted to be a part of all of the Aggie sports with our children and we felt like we could make a good life for ourselves there.  We tried really hard to get a job in Logan and we felt discouraged not understanding why our righteous desires where not coming about.  There was one Law firm in particular that Matt really wanted to be a part of.  He had taken one of the partners out to lunch and was told that their firm didn't hire anyone without three or four years experience and even then the people they hired all went to the very best schools around. I guess that should have deterred us from trying again, but we both felt like we should give it another try.  So about a month ago Matt again asked one of the partners to lunch.  It went well and within a few weeks Matt was offered a job.  We are still in shock.

So here we go again.  Moving for the ninth time in seven years of marriage.  Starting a new job and trying to find a home in Logan.  It is all happening so fast.  Matt started his job last week, and again we are living apart until we can get the living situation all figured out....hopefully soon.

After Matt's first day of work I asked him how it went.  He said "Marianne I just feel like this is where I belong, and it feels so good."   So I learned my lesson.  I will never try to talk my husband out of something or into something when I know that he is capable of receiving answers to his own prayers.  I have been humbled by this experience and I have learned to put more faith in my husband.  He is so much happier which makes all of us happier.  We are moving back to the place that we really never wanted to leave.  Matt had to work at the firm he did this last year to gain the experience he needed to get the job he now has.  There really is a plan for our lives.  The Lord is in the detail of our lives and I will always try to remember that we will be blessed and we will prosper when we do what we are suppose to.  It is a promise, a promise that is sometimes hard to believe but has always been true.  The blessings do come but most often it is after the trial of our faith. 

"It's Never Too Late To Change Your Situation."  I believe it.  If something doesn't feel right, and life isn't quite what you think it should be.  Put your faith in the Lord and change your situation. 

NOT a favorite holiday.....

I don't know if it started when I was young because of the small amount of anxiety it would give me if I didn't have something green on when going to school, or maybe I felt dumb because I was all decked out in green. It always seemed like a somewhat unexciting pointless holiday to me. However, it is my parents anniversary and I do remember eating green food for breakfast every year on that day, and I have to admit I thought it was fun. This is the first year I decided to do a green meal, because I don't have it in me to do a real Irish meal. As you can see from the pictures there was very little excitement over this meal. Even I couldn't eat it. Matt said maybe it's because it was not just green but REALLY green. He tried to be really supportive saying things to the kids like..."you have the best mommy, who makes every holiday sooo fun!!" He really was sincere.....then he went in the kitchen and made himself an omelet. There were a few tears to start the meal and then a few smiles once they found out it really does taste the same (although it really didn't taste the same to me.) Probably won't be doing this again. Although I thought it might be a good diet strategy for me to dye all my food green and then I would eat a whole lot less!!