looks can be deceiving.

looks like a great activity on a hot summer day...... right?

We finally arrived at this little splash park after getting lost. I then spent what seemed like way to long, changing kiddos into swim diapers, putting on swimming suits, and lathering on sunblock. Then the boys kind of ran around for about 10 minutes before coming to me complaining of hunger. I got out the sandwiches which started Nathan immediately complaining because it wasn't cut in half. So I tore it in half...which heaven forbid I should EVER do. So that started the tantrum of all tantrums. While everyone stared at me I tried to calm my screaming child. I soon realized nothing was going to help so I took him kicking and screaming to the car, of course leaving Daniel behind all by himself. When I came back to get Daniel(who by the way was not left THAT far away,) he was crying saying "momma I lost you!" I then pulled Daniel to the car feeling guilty because he had done nothing wrong yet still had to leave without really having the chance to play. So, Nathan cried all the way home while Daniel repeatedly tried to comfort me by saying.. "momma I happy." I was kind of in a rage and couldn't believe the whole day was going to be ruined because of a sandwich. Nathan went straight to bed when we got home.

Later that day with tears in his eyes, little Nathan says "I sorry momma." I of course immediately forgive my sweet little boy.

For me it is important that I record the good days as well as the bad. They are all a part of parenting, we must all face them, and somehow we get through them, still deeply in love with our little children, that at times make us incredibly CRAZY!!!

a loooong awaited goodbye.

Before moving from Florida I was having anxiety about being in Utah all winter with two little boys. I even made a post asking for advice. Winter came very quickly and left VERY SLOWLY. I thought it would never end when May came along and it was still rainy and cold. I started to feel a little angry. I guess I was spoiled with the weather in Florida.

There was one blessing that came from living in Utah and that was having cable television. We haven't had cable all of our married life or a tv in our bedroom, and what a wonderful time it was to have around ten kids channels. I am also thankful for the little phase my boys went through where they would climb in bed with me in the morning and watch their shows while I continued to sleep soundly. No, I am not at all guilty about this, it did not last long and it was the perfect way for me to spend the cold winter mornings.

Some winter highlights included sledding, painting, playing with cousins, dancing, dressing up, and my favorite memory of going to the park watching my boys slide down the frozen slides, VERY FAST, in their snow clothes and flying out the bottom landing feet away in a pile of snow. I think it was a little scary for them but it made me laugh really hard.

My not so favorite memory included Daniel and his packing, organizing, rearranging everything phase. He did not play with his toys he just organized them Daniel style into a big pile right in the middle of every room. He found many interesting spots to stash toys, and he loved to rearrange his bedroom as well as every other bedroom in the house. When I would call my mom to vent and find support she would say. "Marianne, you need to let him do that, it is his work and it is how he plays." Needless to say I spent much of the winter putting away Daniel's so called organized messes. I decided ultimately it is my fault because he has always loved to do everything I do, and I guess I do spend a lot of time cleaning and organizing.
Goodbye winter, we had some fun times, but I will not miss you. I know you will be back again way to soon wearing out your welcome.

a few days of catching up.

I rarely have the Internet, so when I do I feel it is important to catch up on all of my posting, since this blog is pretty much our family scrapbook, and we don't want to leave anything out.

Easter is a big deal on the Noel side of the family not only because it's Easter but it is also the celebration of five birthdays in the family. So it is a huge party. It has been a long time since we were able to spend this holiday with family so we were really excited. I even grew my own wheat grass for the boys Easter basket, but I am upset that I only took a before picture and not an after, especially because we had wheat grass growing like crazy for weeks after Easter.

The boys had fun finding their Easter baskets and coloring eggs with Grandma Lorz. They also loved the Easter hunt and treasure hunt that my mother put together on Easter Sunday. However, I am not quite sure how much they loved what was in their Easter eggs. My mom is not a candy person so it looked more like bird food than goodies, but that is just my mom and that is one of the many reasons I love her.

We ended the Easter bash with a birthday party. Each person had their very own cake of course and we all leave sick because in the Noel family you just have to try every desert available. I guess that makes up for the no candy eggs.
Sometimes in the excitement of colored eggs and goodies, it is easy to forget the real reason we celebrate Easter. I have always had a desire to make holidays extra special for my family but the older I get the more I want these holidays to be extra meaningful as well.

Recently Daniel has been asking a lot of questions about death and heaven and why Jesus has nail prints in his hands and feet. I explain these things to him over and over again and he can't seem to get enough. Today he said "tell me the tory of Jesus and the holes in his hands." When I was all done he said, " oh...I lub Jesus." And then I overheard him telling Nathan the story a little bit later. However, Nathan's biggest worry right now is finding his favorite toy car that Grandma Lorz bought for him. And that is just fine. I know his questions will come soon enough, and how grateful I am that I have the answers.

Change is good, but still hard.

I wasn't quite prepared for what life would be like while Matthew is studying for the bar exam. It's a little bit of a let down, having your husband graduate from three hard years of school only to celebrate for about 90 seconds before he is gone again and even more stressed out. Which causes more stress for me as well. I know he has a lot on his shoulders right now. He has been so worried about this exam as well as finding a job and moving into our own place. I almost in some ways miss the simpleness of living in Florida and going to school. Even with all of the stresses lately, I am still so happy to be around family and lifelong friends. It is the best thing ever to see your kids playing with their cousins and loving every second of it.

We are trying to make the best of this summer situation of Matt busier than ever, by keeping ourselves busy. So, the other day I told the boys we were going to the Logan Zoo. This is my conversation with Daniel.

Me: get your shoes on we are going to the Zoo.

Daniel: Oh, YAY we feed Giraffes?

Me: No, there will be no Giraffes.

Daniel: Oh, see the elephants?

Me: No, there will be no Elephants.

Daniel: oh (looking puzzled)

Me: We might see a duck.....if we are lucky.

Yes, the Zoo was very different from the Zoo we are accustomed to in Jacksonville, we did see some neat things but the boys were not too impressed. I think in some ways the change of moving from Florida is a little hard on the boys too. I still have to explain at least once a week why we can't go to the beach.

Things may be a little difficult right now but all I have to do is look at my two BEAUTIFUL boys and I can't help but feel abundantly blessed. It's hard to complain when you see their little smiles.

Beautiful as ever.

Living in Logan in the middle of winter can be hard, especially when you have two little energetic boys. Somehow we survived and it was days like this one that made the winter bearable. A visit to my favorite school ever. Nothing much to do there except roam the campus, visit the bookstore, play in the snow forts on the quad, get your picture on the "A," and of course eat lunch at the good ol' HUB. It was cold and foggy and I didn't see a whole lot of students as crazy as we were enjoying a campus jaunt. We had fun and it was in some ways a little sentimental remembering myself as a student, walking the same sidewalks on my way to class, and wondering what my future had in store for me. Then looking behind me to see my two adorable little munchkins and realizing things really did work out a lot better than I ever could have imagined.

As great as this day was. The warmer weather has been a lot greater:)

Today is the last day.......

of Law school. HOORAY!! Yes, the bar exam is coming up. Yes, we still need to find a job. Yes, we still need a place to live, but we are taking it one accomplishment at a time and as for now I am a very proud wife.

Matt, didn't just graduate from Law school but he did extremely well, he really enjoyed it. He fell in love with the law and has recently decided that we need to start studying the constitution of the United States regularly as a family....don't know about that, but I do agree that the more you know the more you can appreciate the freedoms you have. I will miss the late nights that we would lay in bed and he would talk and talk and talk and talk to me about law terms that were completely over my head and yet, really exciting to him. I would just think to myself, "man, he is so smart!"And I was so thankful for him and his knowledge and his love of learning. He says law school has taught him how to think and that he has learned how to learn. I think it has made him more attractive too:)

I have to admit it hasn't been easy, in fact Law school takes a lot of time, it is very competitive, extremely stressful, and it causes you to live below poverty level. However, It was very worth it and I am very proud that he has done so well.

I want to thank my wonderful husband for working so hard, for doing so well, and for still finding the time to be the best husband and daddy in the world! Thank you for caring about our future. And for always having in mind your "ten year plan." it makes me feel secure and lets me know how much you care about our future. And thank you for never really meaning it when you would come home from school and say you were going to drop out! Most of all thank you for putting the most important things first. No matter how stressed you were about a test on Monday, you were always faithful about going to church every Sunday. Prayer was always important to you and you were never afraid to ask me to pray for you as well. I loved that you always found time to read your scriptures, even if it was at two in the morning. You are a great example to me. And most, most, MOST of all thank you for making me laugh....what you do best, even when we both felt that we might just fall apart! I love you and I am entitled to brag about you, because it has been a looong three years.

There are many things I will miss about law school and living in Florida. We will hold those memories dear. I have a feeling life is not going to get easier, probably even more complicated but at least I think I am up to the challenge!!

CONGRATULATIONS MATTHEW!!

Never want to forget.

Right after the devestation in Haiti, when my boys were still two years old, there was a sad commercial that came on t.v. I was changing Daniel into his pajamas and he was intensely watching this commercial, all about what had happened in Haiti and all the people that were suffering and how you could donate. At the end of the commercial Daniel pointed to the t.v. and said "so sad momma." I told him in the least graphic way possible what had happened and how those children didn't have homes or food to eat. He just sat there deep in thought. So I asked him what we should do about it(curious what his little two year old mind would think of,) He thought for a minute and said. "we should pay them." I thought he said we should play with them and I said that is a good idea they probably need someone to play with. He said "NO MOMMA." and then folded his arms and said, "we should pray them."

oh, my goodness the tears started to flow, and still flow everytime I think of it. I guess some of what we teach our children, even at the youngest age does sink in, they do remember and they know how to relate it into everyday life. I wanted to post this little conversation so I would always remember the sweet feeling I had when my toddler reminded me that even though we are not in the position to help everyone in need, we can still pray for them.