reminisce

I would walk across campus and stare at all of the old buildings. They were beautiful to me. There is no place more gorgeous than Logan in the fall. The trees were so bright and there is a special renewed feeling when a new school year starts. New classes, professors, and most importantly roommates. The winters were COLD, the wind would blow and I would arrive to class with my nostrils frozen together. The snow was so clean and the sun made campus a very bright place to be. The Spring brought so much excitement for all of the students. It was so hard to go to class when there were games to play on the quad, or bands to listen too. There were friends going hiking, and some headed through the canyon to make a trip to Bear Lake for a famous Bear Lake raspberry milkshake.

There were always cookies that needed to be made for the cute boys that lived in the apartment next door. Of course country dancing EVERY Thursday night followed by a pancake breakfast at 1:00am, friend get togethers, Institute activities, FHE every Monday night, dating, staying up ALL night to watch the same CMT videos over and over again, rodeos, football, basketball, and hockey games, .......

I received so much more than a degree from Utah State. I gained lifelong wonderful friends. I made some unforgettable memories. I learned how to live with just about EVERY type of personality, I learned to set my own rules and standards for living on my own, I learned that people WILL eat your food if your name is not on it, and the mysterious dish that was left in the sink really didn't belong to ANYONE in the apartment, I learned that every roommate believes they do the majority of the cleaning,and yet the apartment will always be a mess. I also learned that you don't need any money to have tons of fun.

USU didn't just give me an education, it taught me invaluable life lessons. Many of those lessons I still use today as a wife and mother. I may never attend Utah State University again as a student, but it will always be like home to me. It is and always will be MY school and I am proud to be a TRUE Aggie.

Differences

Nathan/Daniel

-Skinny /On the chubby side

-Huge mouth and loves "big bite." /small mouth "no big bite"

- crooked teeth, straight hair. /Straight teeth,curly hair.when we let it grow

- outy belly button /inny belly button

-takes long time to fall asleep,heavy sleeper /falls asleep fast,light sleeper

-outgoing and silly /a little shy and more serious

-into ALL things BOY / into all things boy and girl

-a little high strung, very particular, temperamental / layed back and easygoing

-not worried when I don't hear him for a few minutes /very worried if I don't hear him

-likes to be clean......very clean /likes messy....very messy

- athletic / creative

-shows excitement over EVERYTHING /holds in his excitementuntil he bursts.

-wakes up grumpy,needs a loooong time to wake up /pops right out of bed happy as can be

-plays by himself for long periods of time /likes continuous attention,and activities

-never cries when we drop him off at nursery /cries when we drop him off at nursery

-daddy's boy /mommy's boy

I thought having twins would be easy......

I have two arms, I will hold them at the same time. I will nurse at the same time. They will sleep at the same time and eat at the same time. I will sing them the same songs and read them books at the same time. They will both like the same foods and playing the same games. And when they are old enough they will always LOVE having each other to play with. I will use the same techniques on both of them to soothe them, teach them, and discipline them. It might just be a little more work doing double of everything. RIGHT?

Heavenly Father is humbling me by sending me two children at the same time who could not be more different.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

this is what a cockroach looks like

After my boys get finished with him.

(Let this be a lesson to ALL cockroaches to stay off our property)

Content

As Matthew nears the end of law school I can’t help but look back on the last three years of our life. I knew that going to an EXPENSIVE law school with two little boys was going to mean a LOT of sacrifices. The adjustment has not been too hard considering I have now spent ten years living in the world of college /mission life(no money.) But I would be lying if I didn’t say that Matt and I have always spoken in the form of “when we have money….”

Someday we want a little house of our own with a big backyard for our kids to play. I want a beautiful garden with a sprinkler system like the one I had when I was little…perfect for running through. I want a reliable minivan. Yes I said minivan, with enough money to pay for gas. I have been longing for my OWN computer for a reeeaallly long time now, and a really nice camera that doesn’t take an hour in between each snapshot. I want to take a sewing class, and a photography class. I would love some new cowgirl boots, and some cute headbands and flowers clips for my hair (that my friend Katy sells.) I would love my boys to have real beds and not sleep on mattresses on the floor. I would love it if I didn’t have to buy my boys p.j.’s 5 sizes to big so they could wear them for the next five years. I would love to get my haircut every six weeks instead of every six months. A pedicure would be fun at least once a year. Just one overnighter with my husband at a fun hotel would be nice, since that hasn’t happened in ALL of our three years of marriage. Yes, there are a lot of things that I want, and I don’t think that is bad. It’s ok to have dreams, and Matthew and I have BIG dreams for our family. Not living below poverty level anymore is exciting for us.

HOWEVER…..

As I knelt down to pray last night I was again reminded of all I do have, you know the basics…..a husband who as he says, “loves every inch of me!” two beautiful children, a roof over our heads that has A.C. and pretty painted walls. Good healthy food to eat. Old friends and new ones, and a family who supports us and loves us. Above all we have the gospel of Jesus Christ that gives us an inner peace that can’t come from anywhere else.

So, even if we can never afford a flat screen t.v., new SHARP kitchen knives, a cell phone that doesn't have to be recharged every three hours, or even my long awaited minivan, its ok, we will be ok. We have everything we need, it isn’t much, but it really is all we need. How great it is to have the scriptures to teach us the importance of families, and a prophet who encourages us to stay out of debt and live within our means, because that’s were our joy will come from.

I hope when I am in my 80’s I have my husband by my side as well as my beautiful children and grandchildren. I hope we all have strong testimonies of the Savior and find more joy from giving than receiving. I know it sounds sappy. But it is true. It won’t be the flat screen t.v. or our high-tech cell phones that bring us joy. It will be all the important things that I already now have………and that is why I am perfectly content

My first born

I got really upset at Nathan today. It was the second day in a row that he woke his brother up from his nap after Daniel had only been asleep for 15 minutes. Daniel doesn't go back to sleep and then of course Nathan never does either. It makes for a long day. I guess I should be use too these little incidents since they have been going on since they were born, but I am not, and it never gets easier for me to deal with these issues. I was angry with Nathan and he knew it. I felt like one of those crazy moms I see yelling at her kids that I have always prided myself in NOT being. Today I was her. I didn't feel better after loosing my temper. In fact nothing is EVER made better when you act out in anger. I feel embarrassed and I am just thankful that children really don't have a long term memory until the age of three. I guess that gives me six more months to become the mother I want to be:)


When my children are older and talking with their spouse or friends or whatever, I want them to be able to say that they never saw their mom yell or scream at them. That she never lost her temper, that she was always sweet and loving, and knew exactly the right way to discipline for every situation, that she was PERFECT!! I know that won't be the case but that can still be what I want. I really just believe in treating your family with respect ALWAYS even when they are being disrespectful.

Tomorrow is another day. I will do better, I will REALLY try. I love my little Nathan and I want to remember all the little things about him that have brought me so much joy. From the moment he was born I knew we were really in for it. I had never heard a baby cry that loud and that HIGH pitched. Even the doctors were amazed. That crying did not stop for the first few months of his life and even after that he was so temperamental about EVERYTHING.....and still is. He is so particular and sensitive about the smallest things and that can cause some stressful times. He didn't smile for the longest time and he was SO hard to get to laugh. He was throwing full on temper tantrums by the age of 6 months. Temper tantrums that included throwing his head back rolling around on the floor screaming and I mean for HOURS at a time. Matthew and Nathan have always had a special bond which I am grateful for because I have always had a harder time understanding Nathans needs.


It didn't take long for us to realize how really special Nathan is. Yes, he can get upset over the smallest things but I have also NEVER in my life seen a child with so much joy and excitement. This child will laugh and play with other children for HOURS. He will squeal in excitement if he sees a hot dog stand on the side of the road(not even knowing what a hot dog is.) He will talk for DAYS about the merry go round at the ZOO. Nathan is so full of life and I love that he doesn't mind showing it, he is ALWAYS trying to be silly and make others laugh. He encourages Daniel to show more excitement as well, because Daniel has been known to be a little too serious at times. Life would be boring without our little Nathan. I am thankful for his fun personality, I am thankful that he is friendly and says "hi" to EVERYONE he sees. I love that he chases his older friends around laughing and giggling the entire time. I love his laugh, his smile, and his magnificent blue eyes. He is so precious and I am proud that he is my first born son.